ice break-up

walking in circles around circles
looped like spaghetti without sauce
pesto or your pale alfredo
sit on a frozen icy bench
in snow beside the open river
watching pans on ice drift
in the unusual january break-up

of course i picked up the clothes
didn't want you to peel them
and drop them anywhere
don't want your mouth on me
and am not a couple with you
curl against the cold walls

hate this impoverished lie
paranoid eyes see bugs everywhere
no longer can i write
how can i love without . . .?

until there's no room
inside my dyslexic battle
to write to read to speak
my mind always elsewhere beyond
who are my personal references
local and without brain tumors
who would speak up for me

gaunt and malnourished
haunted by horrors and spirits
drinking hot cocoa with maple sugar
sweetener for powdered fermented cotyledons
another night slipping into morning
so tired of this sleepless life

Joe Blades

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